Christmas, oh Christmas. Aren’t you the most wonderful time of the oh so short year? My answer would be no, definitely not. But this isn’t merely some rant about the abnormal kitsch or the Christmas craze in general, I’ll leave that to another day. This is more of a confession to the people around me, should they even read it.
So, if you were able to read the title, you’d now wonder what I’d have to add to this already oversaturated topic. Well my opinion, mostly, duh.
For me, Christmas has never really been a time of sharing and caring and more a season of craving and receiving. Since I can remember I have always found something way over my own budget under the Christmas tree. (And yes “tree” is the appropriate term here since the tree in our house was always about 4 metres high.)
Even though I have been receiving some ill thought presents in the past like socks or underwear (Just because they’re useful, it doesn’t make them a good present, mom), most of the time the presents were more than just alright. So far so thankful, right? Yes, thankful I was, but now the time of jolly good receive-and-don’t-share-policy is kind of over. For as grown ups, you’re actually supposed to gift someone else what they crave.
You may wonder why I find this so shocking, because you have been buying presents all your life for other people. And that in its most basic sense is of no surprise to me as well. On the other hand, there is one thing that surprises me every year: How can people still gift each other so many bulldozer loads full of crap? I mean who needs cookie cutters in vegetable shape or a letter opener with a reindeer embossed at the handle? This list could go on and on, but however you turn it, there is a lot of useless stuff gifted each year.
Okay, whatever, right? Who cares if people gift each other useless stuff? As long as you don’t have to do the same thing… Oh… Right. Yes, and here the vicious cycle comes around facing you, or me in that sense. Because no matter how carefully you sort out friends and how friendly you are with certain relatives, you won’t get around buying useless stuff for them, just to get the same in return. Co-workers, aunts, uncles, cousins, student colleagues, you name it. Someone will be there as punctual as Santa and his hoofed partners in crime themselves at the beginning of December to decide some form of crooked system in a community of people, who secretly hate each other.
Even though this is bad enough, there are always certain specimens romanticising about the “spirit of Christmas” and the “joy of sharing”. Yeah thanks so much for your stupid iPhone Dock Brenda, it doesn’t even fit anymore.
What is even worse for me, is that I don’t even know what I want until AFTER Christmas, so how, for heavens sake, am I supposed to know what people need BEFORE?
In the end we all end up in the nearest perfume shop of our trust buying some overpriced gift packets with some obnoxiously smelling Deodorant and some Eau de Toilette that holds for a whopping 10 seconds.
Whatever. How terrible your gift ideas might be, always remember, you’re always getting something better in return. I hope that’s cheering you up. If not, there’s still the awkward talks with unknown relatives or the quiet guys at work (who got way too drunk way too early).
In the end, no matter how unenjoyable it might be, there’s always punch and rum truffles to overcome the holiday season.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS | MERRY CHRISTMAS